over the last year i’ve noticed that the more i fail to put “first things, first,” the less actually gets done. it goes something like this:

stay up late trying to “get stuff done.” get hungry so late, eat something yummy that’s terrible for the body. go to bed exhausted. sleep fitfully.

wake.  roll out of bed, sore and tired from the night before.

stumble into family devos, then off to the office to work more.

get distracted, hungry and tired, and eat something non-nutritious that may, if i’m lucky, feel good for the moment.  but not fill me for the day.

roll through the day in a blur, trying to “get it all done.”

break for dinner with the fam, and begin again.

there are moments of sweetness…

we’ve gone from full-place-settings, cloth linens, to paper-plates-and-grab-it-fast.

on a good night, there is laughter and good food.  on an average night, it’s scramble-and-gobble before or after a sporting event, or between editing photo galleries.

and i’m not “full.”  i’m running after satisfaction, but i’ve got it out of order.

i’m trying to make “it” all happen myself.  work hard.  get more clients.  edit, edit, edit.

work, work, work.

but the sweetnesses are less and less, and the inspiration, creativity and passion begin taking a backseat to productivity.  the sparks of joy never burst into flame because they must be tamed to

get stuff done.

and the irony?  i’m never “done.”  always running, never arriving.

the joy is in the journey, right?  i’ve forgotten!  the satisfaction is in knowing i’m celebrating as i run, listening for the voice of the Papa who made me to guide me, to remind me what the dance is all about.

i’m headed back to satisfaction in the One who can satisfy.

i’m starting with boundaries – no more settling for artificial foods, artificial fun… i’m going back to cooking what we know will nourish our bodies and our palates.  less burning the midnight oil, and more rising before the crew and spending time with my Papa, entering my day refreshed and ready.  for His agenda.  🙂

just keepin’ it real.  🙂